“Grief never ends….but it changes. It’s a passage, not a
place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…. It is the
price of love.” – “Anonymous”
The “price of love” – we are now paying that price with the
passing of Debbie this weekend. I grieve as I write this. The entire hospital
and everyone who knew Debbie grieve. We have a right to grieve. We need
to grieve. It is the price we pay for having loved her.
Despite the heartache, the pain, the loss we feel, we would
not, could not have it otherwise. To not grieve, would be to deny knowing
Debbie. That would have been the greatest loss of all. To not have known her
heart, seen her smile, or experienced her love for others, would have been to
miss “The Dance”. I would rather experience the “Dance of Life” with Debbie,
and the grief that inevitably comes, than to never have known her and missed
all she had to offer – and she offered so much!
To be in medicine is to know grief, pain, and heartbreak in
a personal way. They have become all too real to us. With time, we eventually
develop hearts like “stained glass windows”, windows that have been broken only
to be put back together again, stronger and more beautiful than ever for having
been broken. Debbie lived a life that made a difference, a life that counted
for others. In doing so, she touched thousands of lives, each life changed in
its’ own unique way. May we live such a life.
The beloved “Mr.
Rogers”, of so many childhoods, said the following:
“I believe that
appreciation is a holy thing - that when we look for what’s best in a person we
happen to be with at the moment, we’re doing what God does all the time. So in
loving and appreciating our neighbor, we’re participating in something sacred.”
Thank you, Debbie, for having a heart like a “stained glass
window”. Thank you for showing us how to appreciate the best in others. Thank
you for teaching us how to love others. It came at a heavy price, that of
loving you. Our grief will never completely end but it will change and we will
be changed for having gone through that passage.
Well done, Debbie, be Thou at peace. We love you.
Andy Lamb, MD
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